A day with many heavy blows to the mind

whew, just got home after this tiring day, 07 April 2008, Today, others may see me as usual as i can be, but actually i am experiencing "heavy blows" on my inner self.


Start the morning with a negative comment on my goal, it feels like all my big effort is worthless, i am usually used to this kind of comment, but this one hits me hard because i guess that he is right, and i can't change a thing about it >.<... Is it really worthless? Will my effort change nothing? Should i accept the condition i am in right now?

In the afternoon, i simply fail to hold my horses, i spit out all my negative opinion in front of the corresponding person.. with rage. This really made me feel guilty, well the person is quite precious to me, although not perfect, but then why should he be perfect anyway? Isn't it normal for a person to have defects? after all we're only human...

That's the major two, the other one is a question in my idealism which i cannot prove. I can't hold my idealism in this case, tempting me to just throw away my own law and go with the flow... And i still don't know how to solve this with my current point of view..

The last is about achievement, today, i am shown the fact that other kind of person have their success, while i -which i always considered different from them- am stuck in the place, waiting for miracles and having only hopes and dreams as lifeline. what should i do? should i follow their path? should i feed entirely from hopes and dreams? when will i get my actual share of success with the path i believe in?

That's the heavy blows i sustained today, i may look the same on the outside, but inside i am truly in pain, i feel like been thrown away further from my dreams... But here's what i believe

I do BELIEVE that every person has got his ups and downs, and it is when you face your "DOWNS" that you will take the real test to be a winner, it is the experience you need to become a champion, because a true winner is not the one who always win, but the one who always gets up from his downs, so that he can survive to see his sunrise once again!

~Keep even your smallest Candle Lit up! For it will guide you from the darkness to the light~

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